


Memory

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-26 12:46:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1688843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Contains spoilers to the finale of season one*</p><p>Following the aftermath of being trapped in the medical pod and falling into a coma, Leo Fitz wakes up only to find he has lost nearly all of his last ten years worth of memories. It is unsure as to whether he will be able to regain them, but that doesn't stop the rest of Coulson's Team doing everything they can to help Fitz recover. Especially Jemma Simmons, who it hits the hardest when Leo cannot remember who she is. However, despite the barriers of memory loss and jealous agents, the pair discover what brought them together in the first place, but can they keep hold of that and fight for what (or rather who) they love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From small beginnings come great things

(Two Weeks Ago)

_Jemma could feel the pressure of a pair of hand upon her shoulder, lightly shaking her in order to stir her from her sleep. She swatted the hands away and proceeded to stretch out and yawn._

_“Look, I know you told me to go home Phil, but I couldn’t just leave him could I? What sort of a friend would that make me, eh? A bloody awful one. And anyway, he risked his life for-”_

_“Simmons, as cute as you are when you ramble, shut up.” The voice of Leo Fitz made Jemma’s head snap up._

_Too stunned to speak, Jemma just stared at her best friend disbelievingly. This, in turn, caused Fitz to chuckle and take her hand in his own._

_“Wow. I never thought I’d live to see the day that Jemma Simmons had run out of words to say.”_

_“You we’re in a coma.”_

_“I know.”_

_“They didn’t even know if would be able to surpass being brain dead.”_

_“I know.”_

_“But now-”_

_“Jemma, I know.”_

_Fitz spoke softly and tilted his face down towards his best friend, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind her ear as he gently pressed his mouth against hers._

The diluted sound of knuckles on wood pulled Jemma out of her dream and back into reality. She could still feel Fitz on her lips.

“Sorry to wake you, I just thought you might be in need of some coffee.”

Melinda May placed a large Styrofoam cup into Jemma’s hands and gave her a rare and reassuring smile as she sat beside the other agent.

“It will be okay Jemma, he’ll pull through – if only to tell you himself that you’ll both get through this.”

Jemma sighed and mimicked Fitz’s words from her dream; “Yeah, I know.”

 

* * *

 

(Present Day)

The first thing Leo Fitz noticed when opened his eyes was that he was in a hospital room, a fact that was proven to him by the overpowering shade of sickly green that coated the four walls around him and made him feel nauseous. The second was that he had no knowledge as to what the hell he was doing in a hospital in the first place; apart from a headache that was threatening to split his head open, he could feel no serious injury – no broken limb or visible wound. As he sat up in his bed, trying to recall even the tiniest scrap of memory that would allow him to figure out why he was here, a flash of pain shot across Leo’s forehead, making the Scotsman to double over in pain. Leo fumbled around at the table on his right, to where he swore he saw a glass of water during his previous sweep of the room. But, in his haste Leo managed to knock over the lamp, also on the table, causing it to shatter on the floor. As a result Leo awoke his third discovery; a petite woman he guessed was in her mid-twenties, who was sat in a chair to the left of Leo and roused with strands of ash brown hair stuck to her cheek. For a while they just stared at each other, one too unsure as to whether she was dreaming to make the first move and one with no recollection of the other to know where to begin.

However, after what felt like hours to them both, the brunette finally spoke – albeit in such a small voice that Leo had to strain just to hear her.

“Are you really awake? Please tell me you are truly awake Fitz. Oh god please.”

“Who’s Fitz?” Leo replied, his voice hoarse and frayed at the edges.

The woman tilted her head and bit the side of her cheek, a move that would normally be recognised by Leo as a sign the former had encountered a perplexing problem. Although this time, it went by unnoticed.                               

“Right, erm okay, the doctors said to expect this, memory loss I mean. Only they couldn’t tell just how severe it would be whilst you were in the coma though. Wait here, I need to go and tell someone that you’re awake. Oh god, I’m so happy you’re awake Fitz. It will be okay, we can get you better in no time. It’ll be just like that time you inhaled that poison at the academy and we sat and watched Doctor Who re-runs until you got recovered. ”

Giving him one last glance, as if to check Leo wasn’t some sort of hallucination, the woman darted out of the room, narrowly avoiding tripping on the shards of the lamp Leo had knocked off of the table. Memory loss, coma, academy? The words span around Leo’s head, doing nothing to subdue his ever present headache. The woman, who had called him Fitz – what the hell kind of name was Fitz anyway? – appeared to know him rather well. Or at least well enough to know that he liked to watch Doctor Who when he was sick. His mother had brought him the complete collection of the classic Who episodes when he was nine and he had watched the show every week religiously when it was re-launched.

When the woman finally returned she brought with her a small crowd; two doctors, a small Asian woman, a slightly taller, dark haired woman and a man in his late 40s, who all now stood around the hospital room. The doctors approached him first, asking him if he knew the year, where he was, why he was there and his name.

“Two-thousand-and-something I think. I have no clue and, what did you call me, Fitz?” He turned to the woman for assurance on the last question. She nodded but did not speak.

The doctors passed each other a look as one stepped closer towards him. “Nearly, it’s two-thousand-and-thirteen and we’re in Holguin, Cuba, you are here because your brain went without oxygen for quite a long period of time and you’ve been in a coma for the past three weeks. Your name is Leopold Fitz, but yes, I am told your friends over there call you Fitz.”

Leo tried to take it all in, ignoring the fact that he couldn’t account for about the past five years of his life. So, he was in Cuba, as far as he knew he had never been to Cuba before and had no clue as to why he was there now. The doctor had said his brain had received a lack of oxygen – that meant there was a risk of brain damage. And hang on…

“Did you say they were my friends?” Leo gestured to other people in the room, his eyes catching that of the woman he awoke to beside him. “I’m sorry, but I’ve never see any of you before in my life.”

The petite woman from before let out a whimper and turned her face away. This was followed by the forty-something man, dressed rather impeccably for a hospital visit, resting a hand on Leo’s shin. “Fitz, my name is Phil Coulson. I’m the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., your team leader and your friend. I know this is probably too much for you at once, but we all have the highest faith that you’ll make a full recovery.”

Leo nodded at the other man, unsure of what else to do or say. Nothing made sense to him right now and his headache had double in intensity, he really just wanted for everyone to go away. Thankfully, one of the doctors must have sensed his discomfort and came to his rescue.

“I really think that’s enough for the time being. We still have tests we need to run and we will keep you up to date, but for now I suggest we give Mr. Fitz the time he needs to recover. You are welcome to visit him tomorrow; it might be an idea if you bring an item of importance to Mr. Fitz, to help jog his memory.”

As the doctors left to bring Leo some more meds and book him in for the tests they mentioned, the other four people in the room started to file out – each giving him a reassuring smile as the left. However, when it came to the petite woman Leo felt compelled to reach out for her.

“Wait, I... I never caught _your_ name.”

     “It’s Jemma, but you call- or called me, Simmons.” The woman, or Simmons as he supposed he should call her, wiped away a stray tear that swept her face.

For some reason unknown to Leo he was upset by Simmons’ sorrow and so he reached out to hold her hand. Simmons fought back further tears that threatened to fall and helped Leo lie back in the hospital bed; she then stayed with him for the few conscious minutes Leo had before he passed out asleep and kissed his forehead before turning to leave.

In his sleep Leo dreamt of giant aircrafts and of whole days spent in labs, he dreamt of running and falling from the sky, and, although he wouldn’t remember it when he woke up, he dreamt of Jemma Simmons.

* * *

 

The next day Leo woke up to find that, once again, he was not alone. The man in the suit, who had called himself Phil Coulson, sat in the same chair that the Simmons woman had. However, unlike the first time, Leo’s accompanier was awake, and was watching him like a hawk.

“Ah Fitz, you're up. Good, we just need to run you through some S.H.I.E.L.D. paperwork before we hand you back into the capable hands of the doctors here. It won’t take moment.”

Leo sat up in the bed and reached for a glass of water – so much for a gentle easy back into the land of the conscious. Not waiting for a reply from the younger man, Coulson pulled out a clipboard and pen and started to scribble something along the top of the forms.

“Since we last spoke yesterday, have you established what you can and can’t recall?”

     “Sort of, I’ve got a near perfect memory of my life right up until I was sixteen but then it’s all a bit blurry.”

“So, you’ve still lost ten years?” The way he spoke strangely managed to calm Leo’s nerves, for some reason he felt soothed by the composure of Coulson’s voice.

     “The doctors are confident I should be able to get back partial memories of my post-sixteen life, but they cannot be sure if I will fully recover.”

“Of course you will. We have our best people working alongside your doctors to ensure that we get you back to normal. Now, when you say you can’t remember further than when you were sixteen, does that mea-”

     “Mean that I have no full recollection of being recruited by you or by S.H.I.E.L.D., and that I don’t have a clue who you or your colleges are other than a vague remembrance? Yes, it does.”

Coulson took to scribbling something down on the forms. Leo knew what he was thinking; this Coulson guy clearly hoped that Leo’s memory loss was a result of post-traumatic stress – induced by the whole nearly dying at the bottom of the ocean story they had told him. It was plausible, he only had memories prior to joining S.H.I.E.L.D., they cut off at rather a specific moment in his life – but to Leo this just felt like a coincidence. If he was being honest, he half expected a camera crew to pop out any minute and tell him the entire thing was staged and that someone would reveal that the only reason he looked ten years older than he felt was the result of heavy make-up and prosthetics. Only, deep down, Leo could feel a loose connection to the people that called themselves his closest friends, much like when you woke up from a dream and could feel the last remnants of another life. There were also actually parts of what Coulson and the others had told him that rang true, he could briefly recall attending a S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. As if on cue Coulson interjected Leo’s thoughts.

“What can you tell me about the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy of Sci-Tech?”

     “Not much, just bits and pieces and what you have told me; I joined at sixteen, graduated at seventeen – three years early mind you, soon after you said I went to work at a ‘Sci-Ops’ facility – but I have no idea what that is, and apparently then you recruited me to work for your ‘new mobile command unit’ as you called it.

Coulson put down the clipboard and pulled out another form from his briefcase. “Here, take a look at this.”

As he took the form from Coulson, Leo saw that it was a list of what appeared to be gadgets and weaponry. “I.C.E.R., Night-Night Gun, Mouse Hole? What are these?”

“They’re your credentials Fitz, your designs.”

     “These are all mine?”

“Yes, all twelve. Well, yours and Simmons’ designs; these inventions are trademarked Fitzsimmons.”

     “Fitzsimmons.” Leo muttered. “I’m engineering, she’s bio-chem.” It was as if the words were a knee-jerk reaction to some memory that was trying to resurface in his mind.

Coulson froze, looking at Leo like he was a child who had just taken his first step. “Fitz, are you okay?”

Leo reached a hand up to his face and brought it to eye level; he was having a nosebleed. Coulson, Leo realized, had already left to call for a doctor – it probably wasn’t a good sign for a nosebleed to occur when you’re still under observation for signs of possible brain damage. When the doctor and Coulson reached Leo’s room the young agent had already passed out cold.

 

 


	2. Part One: The Whipped Cream Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo starts his first round of memory prompting sessions, up first he has Agent May.

Leo opened his eyes and groaned. “I swear there’s a different one of you in my room each time I wake up. It’s doing nothing to calm my nerves you know.”

Today it appeared Leo was being babysat by the woman the others called Agent May – what was up with the dislike of first names with these people.

“Good morning to you too Fitz, are you ready to start you’re rehabilitation programme?”

     “You know, just one morning I’d like to wake up and not be subjected to a series of tests.”

“The most effective way for you to regain your memories is to try and trigger them as soon as possible. Otherwise, you could lose them permanently Fitz.”

     “What, you don’t think I don’t know that already. Its fine for all of you, you haven’t lost the last the years’ worth of memories. You don’t have to wake up every day wondering which important detail of your life you may have forgotten this time.” Fitz exhaled sharply, he hadn’t meant to get so worked up but he was fed up of everyone acting as though he bumped his head – rather than acknowledging that his brain went nearly ten minutes without oxygen.

Despite already sitting with such stiffness that Leo was convinced Agent May must be some kind of robot, the Agent managed to sit up even straighter in her chair than before at his outburst. Leo found Agent May to share a very similar composure to Agent Coulson. However, instead of providing Leo with a strange comfort like Coulson did, quite frankly Agent May terrified him.

“Don’t you dare say that it’s ‘fine’ for us, you have no idea Fitz. You really think that we don’t give a damn about you? I haven’t ever seen Skye this upset or distant, and she’s gone through a hell of a lot these past few months. As for Coulson and I, we’ve protected your scrawny ass since day one – so don’t think for one second that it isn’t killing us to see you this broken. And don’t even get me started on Simmons, she’s not eating, she’s not sleeping and I swear I haven’t heard her speak a word of anything other than you for the past three weeks. You may have lost your memories Fitz, but don’t forget that we’ve practically lost _you_.”

If Leo had been terrified before, he was literally petrified right now. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t thought.”

The Agent’s featured softened at the guilt she could her in Leo’s voice. “Me too, that was all true but you’re right none of us truly understand what you are going through right now.” She paused and gave Leo an apologetic smile, as if asking if they could start again. Leo smiled back, he was just glad May wasn’t yelling anymore.

“So, you ready to start you’re rehabilitation programme?”

   “Only if you promise not to shout again.” Leo grinned again, the longer he spent with Coulson and his team, the more familiar and welcome he felt with them. Granted, he couldn’t remember anything concrete about each one, but it was a start. “So Agent May, what do you have for me?

The doctors had suggested that each team member bring in an item that was significant to both them and Leo as a way of targeting specific memories - they hoped that this in turn would coax the other, more generalized memories to follow. They had even given him a rota of who he was seeing each day in order of how long he’d known each person. The only exception was that apparently had had known Agent May a few hours longer than he’d know Agent Skye (who he was scheduled to see tomorrow), but he hadn’t spent much time with her due to her love for solitude. This wasn’t the only treatment Leo was undergoing though; he was told that Agent Simmons was working day and night on some sort of serum that he would soon be tested with.

“Just call me May, we might not have been best friends but were still friends Fitz. As for today, I brought this.” May reached down to the left side of the chair she was sat in and placed a can of whipped cream in Leo’s hands.

Leo accepted the can with a bemused look on his face. The smirk that May wore gave nothing away.

“Erm, should I be worried?”

May rolled her eyes and took the whipped cream back from Fitz, flicking off the lid as she did so. “It’s nothing like that Fitz. Now, give me your hand.”

Leo felt himself hold back, this had started to feel a little stupid. How the hell was a can of whipped cream meant to help him recover?

Sensing his hesitations May persisted. “Although not proven, many people believe that physical touch can help trigger memories more efficiently than any story or object can; it’s a bit like how muscle memory works. So, just give me your hand Fitz.” May was having none of Leo’s protesting, she’d be damned if together, the team couldn’t fix him even a little.

Reluctantly, Fitz place his hand into May’s significantly smaller one and watched mystified as she squirted a swirl of whipped cream into the palm of his hand.

“You and Agents Simmons went on a pranking spree one day, or rather attempted a pranking spree – you didn’t actually trick anyone. It was a rather annoying actually, so I decided to get you first before you dared to try and trick me; I sprayed whipped cream on the palm of your hand and blew on your nose.” May look up at Fitz, she displayed a mixture of expectance and hopeful. “Ringing any bells?”

   “It’s like I can see what you’re describing but it’s more like recalling a movie scene.”

May tried not to appear disheartened in front of Fitz as she watched as he began to wipe the cream off of his palm. “Look, its early days Fitz. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about-”

     “I asked you about it and you said you were above such childlike games.”

“You can remember?”

     “Vaguely. Wait, you told me it was someone called Ward who pranked me, who is he, another Agent?”

Leo sensed as May prickled at the mention of this Ward guy. “Of sorts, but he’s not relevant to you, or any of us for that matter.”

     “Fair enough, who _was_ he then?”

Before May could explain anymore about who ‘Ward’ was one of Leo’s doctors entered the room and cleared all the tension that had been there moments before. “Mr. Fitz, Ms. May, it’s been one hour, how has your session gone?”

“It has been very effective actually doctor. Fitz was able to recall details of the story I told him and even filled in parts I hadn’t mentioned.” All the bitterness in May’s voice from when Leo brought up Ward had left and instead was replaced with a rather cheery tone – which was equally perplexing for Leo to hear.

Leo’s doctor gave him an encouraging smile. Christ, if one more person smiled at him Leo thought he might explode – he hated people being indirect with him, the doctor blatantly knew that it was far from noteworthy progress, as did Leo himself.

“That’s delightful news, hopefully your next session with have equally positive results Mr. Fitz. However for now Ms. May I am going to have to ask you to leave so that we can give your friends the meds I’m sure he’s secretly craving.”

May nodded to the doctor and – for the love of god- smiled at Leo as she left.

“You’ve got some good friends Mr. Fitz; they’ll see you right in no time.”

     “Yeah cause friendship is going to bring back ten years’ worth of memories.” The doctor remained silent as Leo snapped at him; he was probably used to temperamental patients. The young agent immediately felt guilty, he knew everyone was doing their best to keep him positive but it just made him feel like a child; what with the voice in the back of his head reasoning that he must still be only sixteen year old and all. He sighed and closed his eyes, waiting for his meds to kick in – all he wanted was to have a nice, long sleep and not have to work about secret organisations and friends he could not remember. One thing that had stuck in his mid though was the way May had reacted to his remark about this ‘Ward’ person. The strange thing was, deep down Leo felt a stir of resentment at the name, he just couldn’t reason as to why.


	3. A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During his next two out of three remaining sessions with the team, Leo started to discover not only more memories, but more about himself.

**Part One: The least supportive pretend girlfriend Leo Fitz ever had.**

After the success of his session with Agent May, Leo’s doctors were quick to start his second the following day. In the time after his session with Agent May, Leo he begun to recall flashes of the last ten years. He could remember a lot of time spent in classrooms and laboratories – he gathered this was from the time spent at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy of Sci-Tech. Leo had also started to recover memories of working at the Sci-Ops facility and, more importantly, of the S.H.I.E.L.D. team that had been beside him the whole duration of his time spent in the hospital. Strangely though, Leo found that the people he had been told to know the longest, he remembered the littlest about. For instance, his memories of May had almost returned fully (not that there was many moments of the two of them to recall), whilst his recollections of Agents Coulson and Simmons were fairly limited.

That was why, when Leo began his second session with Agent Skye he already sensed a rapport with the, admittedly very pretty, brunette.

“Hey Fitz, how are you holding up? Well stupid question really. I know what it’s like being confined to a hospital bed practically 24/7 for what felt like months.” Skye proceed to ignore the chair that Coulson and May had sat in, in favour of sitting cross-legged at the end of Leo’s bed.

     “That’s right, you were shot weren’t you?” It was one of the few events involving the S.H.I.E.L.D. team that hadn’t completely left Leo’s mind.

“Yeah I was and you know who saved me?”

     “Erm, Agent Coulson wasn’t it.”

Skye rolled her eyes but grinned all the same. “Well yes, technically it was Coulson. But he wouldn’t have been able to get hold of the serum without you. You were the one that went in with no real field training and blew open the doors. So now, I can return the favour.”

     “You’re going to blow the hospital doors open?” Fitz joked, evoking a laugh from Skye.

“No, obviously not, what the rest of the team and I are going to do is get your memories back. After all, what is a machine without one of its cogs?”

Fitz mock-pouted at Skye, “Is that all I am, a single cog in a large machine?”

Skye tilted her head; Leo seemed to have developed a more confident side, perhaps in the wake of memories of being bullied at school that he had once told her about. “I’m seeing a different side to you Leopold Fitz. Such a shame you’re taken and well my ex-sort-of-boyfriend was a fricking traitor.”

Leo failed to notice Skye wince at the mention of this ex-boyfriend. However, what he did take in was Skye’s claim that he was ‘taken’. “Hang on; did you say _I_ was taken? By who?”

“You’re kidding right, Fitz?” Skye stared at him in marvel.

     “Skye, two words. M-e-m-o-r-y l-o-s-s.”

“Yeah I know, but I didn’t think you would forget Simmons.”

     “I haven’t forgotten her completely, but don’t forget I’ve virtually lost memories of everyone in my life.”

“But you two are like psychically linked. No-one even called you by your individual names. You’re not Fitz and Simmons, you’re Fitzsimons.”

     “It’s not like I can’t remember Agent Simmons, or even that I don’t feel anything for her, because I can and I do. It’s more like the memories and the emotions attached are separated in my mind and I’m having trouble putting them together.”

Skye sensed that it was a sore subject for Fitz so she decided to chance the topic. The female agent was only just piecing together her life from the fallout of the Hydra takeover and she still had all her memories intact, Skye could only imagine how Fitz was feeling. “So, are you ready to see what I brought today?”

     Grateful for the change in conversation, Leo watched Skye reach for her laptop. “Like a child on Christmas eve.” He deadpanned.

“You will be when you see what I’ve made for you. Here, budge up.” Skype got up to plug her laptop into the flat screen television that was to the right of Leo’s hospital room, flicked off the lights and then came back and moved to sit beside her friend on the bed. “So, hopefully, this slideshow should jog a few of your memories. I’ve compiled all the images of you I could find on the web; from your time in university to your work at Sci-Tech and Sci-Ops and I even have some pictures of us and the rest of the team on here too.”

Leo sat back and watched as Skye’s slideshow began to play. There were some images that Leo could link memories to – such as the photo taken at Leo’s early graduation from Sci-Tech – and others he was having a harder time placing – like a group shot of himself, the other four agents he knew and the one he didn’t.

     “Wait Skye, go back.”

Skye complied, skipping back to the group photo that had caught Leo’s attention, this time the sharp intake of breath that Skye took did not go unnoticed by the male agent.

     “Who’s that other man? Is he that Ward guy that Agent May clammed up about the other day?”

Skye hesitated, unsure on how to proceed; she guessed that reminding Leo of Ward, and the memories that he brought back with him, would do Leo more harm than good.

“He _was_ an agent. His name was Grant Ward but he no longer is affiliated with S.H.I.E.L.D. so you really don’t have to worry about him – he shouldn’t have been on that slideshow in the first place.”

     “Ward.” Leo turned the name around in his mind, the name rang bells but that was all. “What happened to him? Was he killed in action?”

Skye failed to look Leo in the eye and instead returned back to replaying the slideshow. “Yeah, something like that. Anyway, Ward is not important. What is important is you getting your memories back so sit tight and watch the rest of this slideshow.”

     “Yes Ma’am” Leo muttered.

A short while into the slideshow Skye noticed that Fitz had fallen asleep and that in said sleep he had even more of a baby face. As she stood up and began unplugging her laptop, Skye realized that tears had started to fall silent down her cheek. Skye vowed that the moment S.H.I.E.L.D. was done interrogating Ward she was going to have a little word with May about paying their ex-friend a visit and reopening a few of his healing wounds.

* * *

 

**Part Two: Beside you this whole damn time.**

Whilst he slept Leo Fitz dreamt of being chased by a black shadow, shortly followed by a sensation of flying. He dreamt of being confined by four walls of metal and an ocean of water. None of this he would remember when he woke up, but that didn’t really matter – Leo was adapting to waking up with the tips of memories on his tongue. He had resigned to waiting for the memories to come to him, not for him to chase the tails of a dream. Leo found that the harder he tried to recall his past, the more upset he got and the blanker his mind went. For these reasons he would not remember how his dreams had started to be plagued with flashes of tender touches and sideways glances, of late night studying and early morning working – all with a familiar presence to keep him company.

Not for the first time since she had taken to falling asleep by her best friend’s side whilst he was recovering in hospital, Jemma Simmons found herself being abruptly awoken by said friend. The first time Jemma was roused by the sound of breaking porcelain. This time it was to the sound of her name being called out, or, more appropriately, shrieked.

     “JEMMA.” Leo’s repeated screams filled the otherwise silent hospital ward and brought three doctors to his room.

Jemma took her friend’s hand in her own and tried to brush the hair off of his forehead in an attempted to cool Leo down.

“What’s happening to him?” Jemma’s voice was barely audible; she was consumed by panic and fear.

One of the doctors in the room aided Jemma in propping Leo up in his bed. “It’s okay Ms. Simmons; Mr. Fitz is just having a nightmare. All we can to do is calm him down and allow him to wake himself up. It would probably be a good idea for you to talk to him if it’s you he’s reaching out for. If he gets worse or you need further assistance, we’ll be just outside.”

The young female nodded and kissed the top of Leo’s curls. “It’s okay Fitz, I’m right here beside you. ‘ _I have been the whole damn_ _time_ ’, remember?”

Jemma’s words eventually managed to calm Leo down enough to wake him from his nightmare. The pair had both been clutching onto each other so tight that when the time came that Leo had fully recovered from the nightmare, neither one wanted to let go.

     “Please Agent Simmons, my mind can barely comprehend the basics right now but I just feel that if I let go of you now then I won’t find my way back.”

“Oh Fitz.” This was all Jemma could manage before he voice broke and she started to sob. Rather than saying anything more Jemma just laid down next to Leo, her head resting softly on his chest. Both agents failed to notice the presence of the three doctors that returned to check up on Leo as they drifted off into a dream-free slumber – neither willing to let go of the other.

 

When Leo and Jemma woke up it was both simultaneous and rather undignified; they each shared red eyes and a puffy face and had to virtually peal themselves off of the other.

     “I’m sorry you had to witness that last night.”

Jemma interjected by swatting Leo’s shoulder. “Fitz, in the entire time that I’ve know you, you have never said anything as stupid as that. I am your _best friend_ and whether you remember me or not that doesn’t change the fact that I will be beside you until the day that I die.”

Leo swallowed thickly and took back Jemma’s hand. “I do remember you, but my mind in so many pieces I feel like I’m completing a jigsaw puzzle. Scratch that, I feel like I’m trying to complete a single jigsaw puzzle from a multitude of boxes that are each filled with similar, and yet very different, pieces.

Jemma nodded, stood up and pulled Fitz into a final hug. “I get it Fitz, you need time and we are all going to be here for you when you are ready. Until then, I suggest that you keep up with your memory recovery sessions, your doctors tell me you are doing remarkably well, and go from there. Speaking of which, I’m going to leave you now to give you time to get ready for seeing Coulson today, but I’ll be right outside if you need anything at all.”

     “Thank you. Jemma.” 

* * *

 

**Part Three: Leo Fitz _is_ a rocket scientist.**

As soon as Jemma left the room Leo got up and head straight for en-suite in his hospital room. He figured that if anything could un-cloud his mind, even just the slightest, it would be a cold shower. However, all that Leo found was that it only managed to wake him up fully – his mind was just as scrambled as when he first woke up screaming.

Leo decided that it would be best not to dwell on this though, instead he got dressed and prepared himself for another round of ‘memory therapy’, as he’d taken to calling it, with Agent Coulson.

It was a good job Leo had dressed quickly really as Agent Coulson arrived just as he was buttoning up his flies – evidently secret agents did not feel the need to knock before they enter a room.

“I heard you had quite an eventful night, or should I say morning. How are doing Fitz?”

     “Really sir, it was just a nightmare, quite embarrassing really.”

“We all have nightmares Fitz and please, drop the sir – to you, and the rest of the team, it’s just Coulson.”

     “So what do you have nightmares about si– Coulson?”

Coulson studied his friend, the spark of self-confidence had dimmed since the time before Leo’s accident, however Coulson found that it was a lot brighter than when Leo first woke up in the Cuban hospital and that his agent had started to build a familiarity with the rest of team. “For a little while, they were about you. You were following my orders when the incident occurred and I still hold myself responsible.”

     Leo sighs, the incident as everyone was calling it was the reason that Leo was in here suffering from memory loss. Only, he was yet to be told what exactly happened during the ‘incident’. “When you say incident, do you care to elaborate?”

Coulson just shook his head. “Not yet Fitz, we want to be sure that the first memories you start to regain are as un-traumatising as they can be. We can get down to the nitty-gritty once we are all sure your mind can handle it.”

Before Leo could reply, Coulson cut back in. “You know I thought for a long time about what I wanted to bring to you for this session. Eventually I decided that I wanted to tell you a story. When I was first told that I could form my own team of operatives I had a rough idea of the sort of people I wanted on that team. One person I knew I wanted on that team was the best engineer S.H.I.E.L.D. could offer me. And you, you were recommended to me by no fewer than fifteen different professors and leading experts in field of technological developments – each one giving me a better reason to hire you than the last. But you know what? None of those were the reason that I offered you a place on The Bus. Wanna take a guess as to why I offered you the job?”

     “My dashing good looks?” Leo joked. Coulson’s story was eliciting quite the emotional response from him; until Leo had heard Coulson speak so highly of him, he hadn’t really listened to the rest of the team when they spoke of his apparent genius.

Coulson laughed heartedly. “If that was the case, what would be the point of me? No, the reason I hired you was because of the way that you and Simmons work with each other. You see, before I sent out an official request for your transfer from Sci-Ops, I took a trip to the facility to watch you two in action. It was truly a spectacle and to this day, every time I watch the pair of you work I feel like I’m watching a dance. The symmetry you both work in is beyond science and friendship and a deep understanding of each another – there is a fluency to the way that you go about your job.”

The older agent paused, studying Leo’s reaction to his speech. “The point I’m making is that however lost you are feeling, each member of this teams carries a part of you they can help unlock. Agent May, despite her hard exterior, would go to extreme lengths to protect you, she is the side of that –”

     “Needs constant protection?” Leo interrupted.

“I was going to say she is that side of you that will always be covered in times of danger. Whereas with Skye, she brings out a playful, fairly happy-go-lucky side of you that in times of distress gives comfort to others. I, on the other hand, feel that I encourage a determination within you that I see so often through you work and the dedication you show to the team. And then there’s Simmons, who brings out the heroic, incredibly daring and brave side of you that if challenged would take on an army.”

   “Sir, I don’t know what to say.” Leo had started to get a little choked up at Coulson portrayal of him.

“You don’t have to say anything; I just felt that you needed to hear those words. And I told you, it’s Coulson.”

   “Coulson, right. Well thank you, your support for me had been unwavering and a constant I know I can rely on until my mind is functioning at full capacity and stable again.”

Coulson stood up and headed for the door, pausing to speak to Leo before he departed. “I was instructed to tell you that you need to get some more rest before they doctors come back this afternoon. They tell me they want to run you through some more tests before they make their final diagnosis.”

And with that he left, leaving Leo to ponder over the speech and how he was viewed in the eyes of Coulson and the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (A/N: Just a quick thank you to my cynical asshole of a friend who helped me write this and will cringe at the shout out but he should just suck it up cause he's just as nerdy as I am and ships fitzsimmons just as hard~~)


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